Forlaith: Secrets Kept

 February 24

It has not been a good day. Not at all. I am torn between a promise of silence and telling the others what I know, but I do not know which is the right choice. Here is what happened.

I was on the deck with the other women, happy to have a little freedom. Oswyn insists the sea air is bad for us and keeps us in our tiny cabin most of the day. Jocosa and I are ready to go crazy if we have to spend one more minute sitting in that rocking box we call a cabin.

Anyway, before she could call us back into our cage, we heard a horrible cry from below deck. I rushed to the nearest hatch, just a few steps behind the men who quickly descended to the very lowest level. Before I could hike up my skirts and follow, Oswyn took me by the arm and dragged me away from the hatch, yelling at me for making a scene. I hadn’t actually lifted my skirts yet. That, I realize, would have deserved a reprimand. All she was angry about was that I had run. Women don’t move fast enough to rustle their skirts, evidently.

Again I digress.

It wasn’t until our midday meal that we learned the cause of the commotion. We had lost most of our fresh water stores. Ardythe was insisting on proceeding as planned.

“What will happen to us?” demanded Rownet in a frantic voice.

No one answered her. I think we were all still in shock. What would happen to us? Would Ardythe’s foolishness cause our deaths after all?

“Is this all we get?” asked Jocosa, looking down at the cups of water brought to us. The sailor nodded before turning away and closing the door.

We sipped on our water, each finding a seat and thinking about the ramifications of this news. “We should give up some of our water… to the sailors,” I said, barely aware of the thoughts shifting through my mind before they spilled out of my mouth. “They have to work, out in the sun, while we are safe inside, resting. They will need the water more.”

“No!” exclaimed the other women, including Jocosa’s sister who was acting as our maid servant and sleeping on the floor underneath my hammock. Like the rest of us, she was fully prepared to play along with Ardythe’s lie rather than be executed.

“We are royalty, they are mere sailors,” said Rownet,

“We aren’t royalty.”

“Silence!” snapped Oswyn, her voice soft but urgent. “If someone hears that, the whole game is over. The sailors here may know the secret, but what happens in Mallawi when you say something like that and some servant over hears you. You must act and speak as though it is the truth, all the time.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that the sailors will need the water more than us,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. I knew Oswyn would respond better if I spoke composedly, even though her very presence made me want to kick and bite her. I didn’t, by the way; that would be unladylike.

Despite my best efforts, the ladies refused to give any of their water to the men and said they would get me in trouble with Ardythe if I said a word or gave any of my water away.

Finally, out of desperation, I managed to escape Oswyn’s presence. I toured the deck despite the heavy winds that blew sea water into my face. It was better than being cooped up in that cabin with women talking about the future that had been presented to us, the future I was dreading. It disgusted me to see Rownet succumb to their talks of riches and handsome princes. Didn’t she know our chances of marital bliss were slim?

Before I could give into the howling wind and descend to the protection of the cabin, Sadon joined me in my stroll. He was silent for a long time. In fact, I was about to suggest we leave the swaying deck, when he finally spoke up.

“I need to tell you something, but I need you to promise not to tell the others.”

I frowned up at him. My hand was looped through his arm and I stopped when he did. “What are you talking about?”

“You have to promise not to tell anyone.” Sadon hesitated. “It was me. I was the one to poke holes into the water kegs.”

I’m sure he read the shock on my face. I quickly schooled my features and dragged him back into motion so that no one would notice our intense conversation.

“What do you mean, you poked holes into the water keg. Are you trying to get us all killed?” I asked, forcing the corners of my mouth up into a smile as I spoke in a soft, urgent whisper.

“Someone has to stop Ardythe from this evil plan.”

“Is it any less evil to leave the Island without protection?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“If we don’t go to Mallawi, and marry these foreigners to get their aid, the Island will fall to Odrar and our people will be enslaved again. I don’t want to go any more than you do, but our people need us. Can’t you see this?”

I looked up at him and could tell that at least some part of what I had said sunk in; he knew that, on some level, we needed to obey Ardythe. Of course, knowing that there was some need for his dastardly plan didn’t make it any easier on us.

I squeezed Sadon’s arm gentle as he processed my words. When I thought he had had plenty of time to think I said more. “I will, though, keep your secret, so long as you don’t do anything else against Ardythe. If you do, I will have to tell him everything I know.”

Slowly, my new brother nodded.

Was I right? Should I have just told Ardythe the truth? If he finds out that I hid this, he will kill both of us. But if I tell Ardythe now, assuming he believes I had nothing to do with it, he will kill Sadon without a moment’s hesitation. I have seen him do it with less motivation.

Sadon has risked all our lives. Then again his death will hardly save us. One less person drinking water will hardly have an effect.

Yes, I believe I did do the right thing. I cannot consciously reveal something that will cause the foolish boy to die. Let us pray the gods speed us to this rumored arpeggio of islands.

Forlaith